Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A fabulous poem!

I think the line breaks are a bit funky on this, but it's still fabulous:

God Says Yes To Me

by Kaylin Haught

I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that ...sometimes
she said you can do just exactly what you want to do
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't
paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she
picked that up
what I'm telling you is
Yes Yes Yes

Friday, July 31, 2009

An Olfactory Tour of SacTown

Last fall, I was in the midst of writing a piece about the smells of Sacramento, when the Sacramento News and Review published Josh Fernandez's article "Inhaling the City." I scooped together the bits I'd written and stitched them together into following letter. Enjoy!

Letter to the Editor

October 27, 2008

Dear [Sacramento News & Review] editor,

A big “bravo!” to Josh Fernandez for his article “Inhaling the City” (October 23, 2008). Having always been a scent-sitive soul myself, I thrilled to read about Josh’s olfactory memory associations. Many writers neglect the power of smell in their works.

I am an aficionado of the olfactory myself, and have many memories linked to odors. Having been raised in Placerville, the musty smell of caves and mines immediately evokes evenings spent at the coffee shop at the converted Pearson’s Soda Works (now the Cozmic Cafe) which itself is built into a hill. The smell of tar reminds me of an indistinct nightmare, so summertime construction projects always make me illogically squeamish. Wet summer grass is the smell of road trips and being achingly in love at eighteen. Fresh laundry drying is one of the best scents: it immediately takes me back to a particular rainy afternoon spent listening to Sarah Vaughan and reading paperback novels in my bedroom, just next to my apartment complex’s laundry room. I was shivering under a rust-colored afghan blanket, but couldn’t bear to shut out that clean, wet smell. And smelling pie baking will always take me to Thanksgiving Eve in my grandmother’s orange-linoleumed kitchen, where I would sprinkle the pie crust dough scraps with cinnamon and sugar, and bake them on a cookie sheet into crumbly "cookies".

This summer, at age 26, I belatedly taught myself to properly ride a bike. Since mounting my blue mountain bike, I have often found myself toodling through Downtown, sniffing wildly at fleeting smells, like a dog with her head out a car window. I’ll sometimes find several in a single block. For example, T Street between 11th and 12th Streets tonight smelled of sour and smoky cooking (sausage and sauerkraut, perhaps?); the faintly acrid tang of a just-peeled green banana; and something perfumey, like the bubble bath I used as a pre-teen. Downtown Sacramento's alleys are even more fragrant than the streets, exuding the rich scents of backyard soil, ripe garbage cans, and motor oil.

In fact, I think the yellow-jacketed Downtown Sacramento Partnership guides ought to offer tourists SacTown Scent Maps. Here are some olfactory packages to get them inspired:

Locale: Old Sacramento.
Time: Mid-day, warm weather.
Scents: Dust, chocolate (near Rocky Mountain), hay-laden horse droppings.

Locale: Southside Park neighborhood.
Time: 5:30pm to 7:30pm.
Scents: A mouthwatering menagerie of Asian delights on the stove: rice, hot oil, fish in the pan.

Locale: Capitol and McKinley Parks.
Time: Post-rain, springtime or early summer.
Scents: Wet pavement, infinite combinations of flora and fauna.

Locale: Lavender Heights.
Time: Saturday night.
Scents: Each carouser wears her or his own cocktail of scents, a mixture of beer, sweat, soap, cologne, and lotion.

My best friend J’s stepfather lost his sense of smell as a child to hay fever. I’ve often wondered, looking at him pityingly, what a world without my sense of smell would be like. When people ask those irritating “Would you rather…?” questions, aimed at forcing you to think long and hard about which fate would be worse, I usually answer to the one about deafness versus blindness, “either one, as long as I can still have my sense of smell.”

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Lunch.

Coffee Perfume

I had a marvelous lunch today. I hopped on my bike and made my way to the Sacramento Central Library, and was waited on by a very cute and smiley guy with a few scattered tattoos (and a wedding ring. Drat!).

Then I rode over to one of my absolute favorite places in town, Temple Coffee, and ordered an iced black citrus tea, which was super yummy. When I went to sit down, I saw that the best seat in the entire house - the window seat with all the pillows and the view of the street and the flower boxes - was free... just waiting for me to occupy it! It was enveloped in sunlight and calling to me, and there were music and birds twittering in the background as I floated toward it, so happily.

That tea was so good - cool and tall and flavorful and PROBABLYHADTOOMUCHCAFFEINEFORMEBECAUSEINEVERDRINKCAFFEINEANYMORE!... It was a perfect complement to my delicious peanut butter and honey sandwich. I used soft, healthy bread with texture and all kinds of interesting little seeds to nibble at. The peanut butter was the kind you grind fresh at the store, so there was nothing funky in it - just a thick spread of smooshy peanuts. The honey was just a little crystallized so it was ever so slightly sugary. And to top it all off, I read a super interesting article from my favorite magazine!

Soon it was time to go back to work, and as I went back out to get my bike, I chatted with people standing outside under the shady trees. One of the guys owns this little store next to Temple I've never been in but I'm now super curious about. They sell all kinds of miscellany, and there was a rack outside with $1 shirts on it. I buzzed through the streets and alleys, grinning the whole way at pedestrians, other bicyclists, motorists. I love the allies in Sacramento because they dip down into the basement and parking garage level of the street so you can race up and down the little hills and have an urban adventure! The sunshine was just warm, not sweltering, and I could smell the rich bits of city life as I whizzed past restaurants, dumpsters and cars.

The most incredible thing about this lunch is that I even got back a few minutes early!! A foreshortened lunch hour, yet I didn't feel shortchanged at all.

And before I knew it, I back at my desk, coffee scent hanging off my body like wisteria on trellises. I smelled like a waitress, hon.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Conflict and Harmony

The following thoughts were written a few weeks ago.

A Drive at Sunset

Last night was extraordinarily beautiful. As the sun was setting, M and I drove down Jefferson Road in West Sacramento to where it turns into a levee road. Clouds were stretched over the pale sky like layered gauze. The sun was as red as a strawberry, halfway behind the hills, when we saw a blond field up ahead with a backdrop of towering oak trees. But the trees looked peculiar – they had large, white spots in them. I thought maybe it was the sky shining through, but the spots were too pale and uniformly-sized to be sky patches. As we approached, I realized they were nesting egrets - my favorite birds!! I never knew they roosted in trees that way.

We passed over a little canal lined with horse grass and reeds, and pulled over by the trees. The field alongside the canal was bordered by a white post-fence, with an opening to a dirt pathway. As we approached the pathway, the egrets (who were hundreds of feet away) all took flight and circled around the sky. Funny, I thought, that they wouldn't be afraid of large, loud, motorized vehicles whipping by at 50 miles per hour, but that two people on foot would spook them. They probably knew what guns sounded like, and that they were usually fired by humans on foot.

We wandered through the field, which seemed to be some kind of grain, and eventually took a side path down to the canal. Some of the egrets returned, and I could hear them honking and chattering. But mostly they settled among the branches of trees further down the canal. One flew almost directly overhead, and we had a full view of its slender elegance from beneath.

We sat down at the water’s edge, toes on the mud, and watched as fish splished and flipped in the water. Small, dark birds sped after one another, zipping down close to the water, but never touching it. We took pictures of the horse grass silhouetted against the sky. Small animals created rustling noises as they went about their business in the dry, hollow reed grasses. We joked about getting West Nile Virus from the mosquitoes that hovered around, and I said I’d rather die of West Nile than miss evenings like these. The sun slowly melted into the horizon, and eventually nighttime came.

Conflict and Consensus

As we sat, we talked about philosophy, overpopulation, and reproduction. We talked about emotions and communication, and M. gave me one of the best compliments I could imagine:

“I really admire how you do such a good job of asserting your opinions without shoving other people out of the conversation.”

That is precisely the kind of balance I strive for - only I'd never put it in those words before. I was very touched. For about five years now, I’ve been thinking constantly about my own worldview in the context of conflict and harmony.

Two bedrock theories of sociology (and other social sciences) are the structural functionalism perspective - attributed in large part to Emile Durkheim - and the conflict perspective - the brainchild of Karl Marx. Structural functionalism conceptualizes every aspect of society to have a constructive purpose, even dysfunction. This means our society’s institutions function as a result of the synthesis of different perspectives, or the compromises reached by opposed parties. The Marxist conflict perspective, on the other hand, posits that society is characterized by the constant state of opposition between various classes, or groups of people with differing interests. To put it more simply, one theory posits that we are defined by our ability to compromise on our disagreements; the other views our same society through the lens of those very conflicts themselves. Either of these perspectives can be used as a level of analysis for any sort of issue, from the interpersonal level to a global scale.

I haven’t decided whether I put more stock in Marxism or structural functionalism - either as far as an explanation for the way society works, or insofar as far as which approach I value more as a tool for organizing for social change. It’s clear that both are at work in the world, and I also truly value both techniques. However, I always feel somehow at odds with myself when I consider this fact. It seems the two paradigms cannot co-exist simultaneously because by their very nature they are diametrically opposed. But last night I had a little epiphany about balance: the two are not mutually exclusive; they happen in tandem with one another.

Similarly, both confrontation and consensus-building are useful and necessary tools. The two even complement each other in what may appear on the surface to be a contradictory or counter-productive way. In fact, one could go so far as to say they are interdependent. One oft-cited example is the respective roles played by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s non-violence and the Black Panthers’ radicalism in the civil rights/Black freedom movement.

Thus it is neither illogical nor wrong in any way to use both as tools at appropriate moments. In thinking about this further, I see that this has been obvious all along. Most reasonable people would agree that trying to talk through a problem when it arises is the best course of initial action; and everyone but the most staunch of all pacifists would agree that things come down to confrontation sometimes. Academia, however, tends to set up a false dichotomy about the two. Do you have any thoughts on conflict or consensus?

Update: Today (yes, literally less than 12 hours after posting this blog), I ran into the professor I had for Introduction to Sociology during one of my first few semesters at Sierra College. Apparently, she works for DHCS. She was so excited that I so clearly and fondly remembered her class. That is quite a strange coincidence, no?


Bird Family

Finally, some sad news to report.

If you didn't know, a family of pigeons was nesting just outside my bathroom window. Recently, I walked to the laundry room and saw an egg splattered on the ground. I thought, “Why would anyone throw an egg at the side of my house?" But, hey, I live downtown, so I didn’t think anything of it. But a few days later, for the first time since they appeared, neither Mirabel, the female pigeon, nor Maxwell, her mate, were on their nest – and I saw there were no eggs, either. It clicked then that the egg on the ground a few days before had been one of their eggs, and that probably during the night, a raccoon or a blue jay or something had come and taken their second egg, or else maybe it had fallen. But the next time I walked downstairs, I didn't see any evidence of another egg on the ground. Poor, sweet family. Mirabel, Maxwell, and their eggs – all gone. Just an empty hollow of twigs where their white-shelled offspring were once developing.

It all makes me want to stop eating eggs. And it also makes me marvel that any birds survive, living as they do in delicate nests, beginning their lives protected only by a thin, fragile shell. Maybe you think pigeons are disgusting, but I think any bird is a miracle.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Music and Photography

Migration/Immigration: A Nation Divided

Last night I worked a photography show exhibiting Francisco Dominguez's work at the Sacramento Area Peace Action. You might know Francisco as fotowaddle. The event details are here.

I arrived early with pink punch and strawberries and cookies, and worked with others to set up the room, Manu Chao our audio backdrop. Then the guests started arriving in pairs and trios, and chose their seats among the mauve chairs, set theater-style. They filled the conference room with their glib buzzing chatter and chips-and-salsa crunching.

The program began with a short introduction, and then Pedro and Manuel played their beautiful stringed instruments and sang traditional call and response songs. Such volume! Such energy! Such melodic, percussive, dance-inducing JOY!

Francisco's photographs document the harsh conditions at the U.S.-Mexico border, and the people who live there. In both color and black and white, they were simple portraits and action shots. They were pieces of truth and tragedy: white crosses marking the graves of unknown people who died trying to find a better life; bracero workers who have been lending their labor to the United States for decades; barrels of water placed out in the desert by merciful church family members visiting through gaps in the border fence.

Francisco also performed an art piece: a traditional prayer with a DVD slide show of some of his shots. A group discussion with a question and answer period was held. Manuel and Pedro played again, reinvigorating us, keeping us strong and happy for another day of good work and honest living.

And on that note, I might have a new crush on a certain Guatemalan musician. Oh dear, my heart did flutter when he hugged me, crisp white shirt against my red t-shirt, warm cheek against mine, my fingers in his hand and his deep, quiet eyes glancing looking into mine as he took my card.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Feelin' Groovy

Job Search

I had a fantastic interview today! The job itself seems reasonably varied in its tasks, and very challenging. And the two people who interviewed me embodied a balance between diligent dedication to their work and lightheartedness, like tightrope walkers. We laughed and joked several times, and I learned a lot about the Benefits, Waiver Analysis, and Rates Division of the Department of Health Care Services. So, even if I don't get the job, I had the opportunity to sharpen my interview skills, meet two amazing people, and laugh a lot.

That's not to say I don't really, REALLY want the job - because I do.


Manila Envelope Fun

Today was a superior mail day. No bills. No junk mail. No letters reading "While your resume and skills were impressive, we've decided to hire another candidate." Just a pleasingly plump package from my friends J, R, and N at the CODEPINK office in San Francisco.

Enclosed:
  • a pink tank top my friend R got at a clothing swap;
  • three Mix CD's for personal enjoyment and fun PINK peace actions;
  • resources for coordinating our local chapter of CODEPINK;
  • a pink "Out Of Iraq Now!" ribbon magnet for the Ruby Suby; and
  • a beautiful card signed by everyone.
I closed my eyes and listened to the songs weave a audial tapestry with the rain, and had a private dance party in my living room.


Ephemeral Avocado

For dinner tonight, I fixed an amazing sandwich, with mostly organic ingredients:
~ wheat and oat bread
~ horseradish mustard
~ sunflower sprouts - surprisingly crunchy and tasty little protein-packed green doodads!
~ cheddar and mozzarella cheese - I peeled little strings off the edge of the thick mozzarella slices!
~ a sprinkling of olive oil and balsamic vinegar
~ black olives, and
~ nature's most perfect food: avocado.

As I cut the avocado open, and was slicing half of it up for my sandwich, I realized I'd also have to eat the other half tonight. (Oh, darn.) Because let's face it - avocados just aren't nearly as good the next day. Okay, before you start telling me about lime juice voodoo, or leaving the pits in the guacamole after you make it, or winking three times and turning around while singing the alphabet backwards - hold it right there. Avocados just aren't the same the next day - and you know it.

I realized tonight that this very ephemerality they embody is one reason I love avocados so much - in addition, of course, to their perfect taste and texture. It is the very same reason daisies are my favorite flowers. Each is such a vivid reminder that this moment - yes, this one you're experiencing right now - is really the only one there is.

So live in it. Enjoy it. Drink it in! Roll around in it! Soak it up! Jump and dance with it and wiggle your toes in it and stare at it in astonishment and sniff it and throw it in the air! And then share it with a friend, or keep it for yourself like a delicious secret.


Paul Simon

Recently, my friend A gave me a book of Paul Simon's lyrics. It is such a beautiful gift because it's caused me to listen to Paul Simon and Simon & Garfunkel a lot more. This music always seems to put me in some shade of good mood:

introspective
grateful
curious
ecstatic
DANCING!
creative
mellow
speechless
tears of joy

I feel so amazed and fortunate to live in the same time as Paul Simon does. The Simon and Garfunkel concert I attended in 2003 remains one of the best I've ever experienced.

And now, a guaranteed smile. Another one. And a third.