Coffee Perfume
I had a marvelous lunch today. I hopped on my bike and made my way to the Sacramento Central Library, and was waited on by a very cute and smiley guy with a few scattered tattoos (and a wedding ring. Drat!).
Then I rode over to one of my absolute favorite places in town, Temple Coffee, and ordered an iced black citrus tea, which was super yummy. When I went to sit down, I saw that the best seat in the entire house - the window seat with all the pillows and the view of the street and the flower boxes - was free... just waiting for me to occupy it! It was enveloped in sunlight and calling to me, and there were music and birds twittering in the background as I floated toward it, so happily.
That tea was so good - cool and tall and flavorful and PROBABLYHADTOOMUCHCAFFEINEFORMEBECAUSEINEVERDRINKCAFFEINEANYMORE!... It was a perfect complement to my delicious peanut butter and honey sandwich. I used soft, healthy bread with texture and all kinds of interesting little seeds to nibble at. The peanut butter was the kind you grind fresh at the store, so there was nothing funky in it - just a thick spread of smooshy peanuts. The honey was just a little crystallized so it was ever so slightly sugary. And to top it all off, I read a super interesting article from my favorite magazine!
Soon it was time to go back to work, and as I went back out to get my bike, I chatted with people standing outside under the shady trees. One of the guys owns this little store next to Temple I've never been in but I'm now super curious about. They sell all kinds of miscellany, and there was a rack outside with $1 shirts on it. I buzzed through the streets and alleys, grinning the whole way at pedestrians, other bicyclists, motorists. I love the allies in Sacramento because they dip down into the basement and parking garage level of the street so you can race up and down the little hills and have an urban adventure! The sunshine was just warm, not sweltering, and I could smell the rich bits of city life as I whizzed past restaurants, dumpsters and cars.
The most incredible thing about this lunch is that I even got back a few minutes early!! A foreshortened lunch hour, yet I didn't feel shortchanged at all.
And before I knew it, I back at my desk, coffee scent hanging off my body like wisteria on trellises. I smelled like a waitress, hon.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Conflict and Harmony
The following thoughts were written a few weeks ago.
A Drive at Sunset
Last night was extraordinarily beautiful. As the sun was setting, M and I drove down Jefferson Road in West Sacramento to where it turns into a levee road. Clouds were stretched over the pale sky like layered gauze. The sun was as red as a strawberry, halfway behind the hills, when we saw a blond field up ahead with a backdrop of towering oak trees. But the trees looked peculiar – they had large, white spots in them. I thought maybe it was the sky shining through, but the spots were too pale and uniformly-sized to be sky patches. As we approached, I realized they were nesting egrets - my favorite birds!! I never knew they roosted in trees that way.
We passed over a little canal lined with horse grass and reeds, and pulled over by the trees. The field alongside the canal was bordered by a white post-fence, with an opening to a dirt pathway. As we approached the pathway, the egrets (who were hundreds of feet away) all took flight and circled around the sky. Funny, I thought, that they wouldn't be afraid of large, loud, motorized vehicles whipping by at 50 miles per hour, but that two people on foot would spook them. They probably knew what guns sounded like, and that they were usually fired by humans on foot.
We wandered through the field, which seemed to be some kind of grain, and eventually took a side path down to the canal. Some of the egrets returned, and I could hear them honking and chattering. But mostly they settled among the branches of trees further down the canal. One flew almost directly overhead, and we had a full view of its slender elegance from beneath.
We sat down at the water’s edge, toes on the mud, and watched as fish splished and flipped in the water. Small, dark birds sped after one another, zipping down close to the water, but never touching it. We took pictures of the horse grass silhouetted against the sky. Small animals created rustling noises as they went about their business in the dry, hollow reed grasses. We joked about getting West Nile Virus from the mosquitoes that hovered around, and I said I’d rather die of West Nile than miss evenings like these. The sun slowly melted into the horizon, and eventually nighttime came.
Conflict and Consensus
As we sat, we talked about philosophy, overpopulation, and reproduction. We talked about emotions and communication, and M. gave me one of the best compliments I could imagine:
That is precisely the kind of balance I strive for - only I'd never put it in those words before. I was very touched. For about five years now, I’ve been thinking constantly about my own worldview in the context of conflict and harmony.
Two bedrock theories of sociology (and other social sciences) are the structural functionalism perspective - attributed in large part to Emile Durkheim - and the conflict perspective - the brainchild of Karl Marx. Structural functionalism conceptualizes every aspect of society to have a constructive purpose, even dysfunction. This means our society’s institutions function as a result of the synthesis of different perspectives, or the compromises reached by opposed parties. The Marxist conflict perspective, on the other hand, posits that society is characterized by the constant state of opposition between various classes, or groups of people with differing interests. To put it more simply, one theory posits that we are defined by our ability to compromise on our disagreements; the other views our same society through the lens of those very conflicts themselves. Either of these perspectives can be used as a level of analysis for any sort of issue, from the interpersonal level to a global scale.
I haven’t decided whether I put more stock in Marxism or structural functionalism - either as far as an explanation for the way society works, or insofar as far as which approach I value more as a tool for organizing for social change. It’s clear that both are at work in the world, and I also truly value both techniques. However, I always feel somehow at odds with myself when I consider this fact. It seems the two paradigms cannot co-exist simultaneously because by their very nature they are diametrically opposed. But last night I had a little epiphany about balance: the two are not mutually exclusive; they happen in tandem with one another.
Similarly, both confrontation and consensus-building are useful and necessary tools. The two even complement each other in what may appear on the surface to be a contradictory or counter-productive way. In fact, one could go so far as to say they are interdependent. One oft-cited example is the respective roles played by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s non-violence and the Black Panthers’ radicalism in the civil rights/Black freedom movement.
Thus it is neither illogical nor wrong in any way to use both as tools at appropriate moments. In thinking about this further, I see that this has been obvious all along. Most reasonable people would agree that trying to talk through a problem when it arises is the best course of initial action; and everyone but the most staunch of all pacifists would agree that things come down to confrontation sometimes. Academia, however, tends to set up a false dichotomy about the two. Do you have any thoughts on conflict or consensus?
Update: Today (yes, literally less than 12 hours after posting this blog), I ran into the professor I had for Introduction to Sociology during one of my first few semesters at Sierra College. Apparently, she works for DHCS. She was so excited that I so clearly and fondly remembered her class. That is quite a strange coincidence, no?
Bird Family
Finally, some sad news to report.
If you didn't know, a family of pigeons was nesting just outside my bathroom window. Recently, I walked to the laundry room and saw an egg splattered on the ground. I thought, “Why would anyone throw an egg at the side of my house?" But, hey, I live downtown, so I didn’t think anything of it. But a few days later, for the first time since they appeared, neither Mirabel, the female pigeon, nor Maxwell, her mate, were on their nest – and I saw there were no eggs, either. It clicked then that the egg on the ground a few days before had been one of their eggs, and that probably during the night, a raccoon or a blue jay or something had come and taken their second egg, or else maybe it had fallen. But the next time I walked downstairs, I didn't see any evidence of another egg on the ground. Poor, sweet family. Mirabel, Maxwell, and their eggs – all gone. Just an empty hollow of twigs where their white-shelled offspring were once developing.
It all makes me want to stop eating eggs. And it also makes me marvel that any birds survive, living as they do in delicate nests, beginning their lives protected only by a thin, fragile shell. Maybe you think pigeons are disgusting, but I think any bird is a miracle.
A Drive at Sunset
Last night was extraordinarily beautiful. As the sun was setting, M and I drove down Jefferson Road in West Sacramento to where it turns into a levee road. Clouds were stretched over the pale sky like layered gauze. The sun was as red as a strawberry, halfway behind the hills, when we saw a blond field up ahead with a backdrop of towering oak trees. But the trees looked peculiar – they had large, white spots in them. I thought maybe it was the sky shining through, but the spots were too pale and uniformly-sized to be sky patches. As we approached, I realized they were nesting egrets - my favorite birds!! I never knew they roosted in trees that way.
We passed over a little canal lined with horse grass and reeds, and pulled over by the trees. The field alongside the canal was bordered by a white post-fence, with an opening to a dirt pathway. As we approached the pathway, the egrets (who were hundreds of feet away) all took flight and circled around the sky. Funny, I thought, that they wouldn't be afraid of large, loud, motorized vehicles whipping by at 50 miles per hour, but that two people on foot would spook them. They probably knew what guns sounded like, and that they were usually fired by humans on foot.
We wandered through the field, which seemed to be some kind of grain, and eventually took a side path down to the canal. Some of the egrets returned, and I could hear them honking and chattering. But mostly they settled among the branches of trees further down the canal. One flew almost directly overhead, and we had a full view of its slender elegance from beneath.
We sat down at the water’s edge, toes on the mud, and watched as fish splished and flipped in the water. Small, dark birds sped after one another, zipping down close to the water, but never touching it. We took pictures of the horse grass silhouetted against the sky. Small animals created rustling noises as they went about their business in the dry, hollow reed grasses. We joked about getting West Nile Virus from the mosquitoes that hovered around, and I said I’d rather die of West Nile than miss evenings like these. The sun slowly melted into the horizon, and eventually nighttime came.
Conflict and Consensus
As we sat, we talked about philosophy, overpopulation, and reproduction. We talked about emotions and communication, and M. gave me one of the best compliments I could imagine:
“I really admire how you do such a good job of asserting your opinions without shoving other people out of the conversation.”
That is precisely the kind of balance I strive for - only I'd never put it in those words before. I was very touched. For about five years now, I’ve been thinking constantly about my own worldview in the context of conflict and harmony.
Two bedrock theories of sociology (and other social sciences) are the structural functionalism perspective - attributed in large part to Emile Durkheim - and the conflict perspective - the brainchild of Karl Marx. Structural functionalism conceptualizes every aspect of society to have a constructive purpose, even dysfunction. This means our society’s institutions function as a result of the synthesis of different perspectives, or the compromises reached by opposed parties. The Marxist conflict perspective, on the other hand, posits that society is characterized by the constant state of opposition between various classes, or groups of people with differing interests. To put it more simply, one theory posits that we are defined by our ability to compromise on our disagreements; the other views our same society through the lens of those very conflicts themselves. Either of these perspectives can be used as a level of analysis for any sort of issue, from the interpersonal level to a global scale.
I haven’t decided whether I put more stock in Marxism or structural functionalism - either as far as an explanation for the way society works, or insofar as far as which approach I value more as a tool for organizing for social change. It’s clear that both are at work in the world, and I also truly value both techniques. However, I always feel somehow at odds with myself when I consider this fact. It seems the two paradigms cannot co-exist simultaneously because by their very nature they are diametrically opposed. But last night I had a little epiphany about balance: the two are not mutually exclusive; they happen in tandem with one another.
Similarly, both confrontation and consensus-building are useful and necessary tools. The two even complement each other in what may appear on the surface to be a contradictory or counter-productive way. In fact, one could go so far as to say they are interdependent. One oft-cited example is the respective roles played by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s non-violence and the Black Panthers’ radicalism in the civil rights/Black freedom movement.
Thus it is neither illogical nor wrong in any way to use both as tools at appropriate moments. In thinking about this further, I see that this has been obvious all along. Most reasonable people would agree that trying to talk through a problem when it arises is the best course of initial action; and everyone but the most staunch of all pacifists would agree that things come down to confrontation sometimes. Academia, however, tends to set up a false dichotomy about the two. Do you have any thoughts on conflict or consensus?
Update: Today (yes, literally less than 12 hours after posting this blog), I ran into the professor I had for Introduction to Sociology during one of my first few semesters at Sierra College. Apparently, she works for DHCS. She was so excited that I so clearly and fondly remembered her class. That is quite a strange coincidence, no?
Bird Family
Finally, some sad news to report.
If you didn't know, a family of pigeons was nesting just outside my bathroom window. Recently, I walked to the laundry room and saw an egg splattered on the ground. I thought, “Why would anyone throw an egg at the side of my house?" But, hey, I live downtown, so I didn’t think anything of it. But a few days later, for the first time since they appeared, neither Mirabel, the female pigeon, nor Maxwell, her mate, were on their nest – and I saw there were no eggs, either. It clicked then that the egg on the ground a few days before had been one of their eggs, and that probably during the night, a raccoon or a blue jay or something had come and taken their second egg, or else maybe it had fallen. But the next time I walked downstairs, I didn't see any evidence of another egg on the ground. Poor, sweet family. Mirabel, Maxwell, and their eggs – all gone. Just an empty hollow of twigs where their white-shelled offspring were once developing.
It all makes me want to stop eating eggs. And it also makes me marvel that any birds survive, living as they do in delicate nests, beginning their lives protected only by a thin, fragile shell. Maybe you think pigeons are disgusting, but I think any bird is a miracle.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Job Search Tips
Hi friends,
I know many of you are looking for work right now. Below are some tips I wrote up for a friend who was out of work. I was just recently out of work for six months - so I know how it feels. I hope it's helpful!
Best of luck to all of you.
Love, H
It sucks losing your job. (Mostly. Take cheap road trips, relax and volunteer when you can.) But being laid off or fired is a loss, just like any other. Allow yourself a little process of grieving - you may feel pained, shocked, angry, confused, guilty, whatever. Let yourself feel those feelings when you need to, and then move on.
Having just been through this, I thought I’d put together a list of tips and ideas for job searching.
First off, if you can get it, get Martin Yates' Knock 'Em Dead books - I used the Interviews one to study, and I rocked my interviews!
Try not to sleep in in the mornings. Have a routine, or a reason to wake up. I took my mom (she lives two blocks from me) to work every day, and that kept me from sleeping in and waking up at 11:00 am feeling crummy.
Register with as many websites as you can.
Register with both those sites specific to your profession, and general, as you can to keep your options open. Here are some I was on/checked every day:
http://www.idealist.org
If you live in California, take state tests and get on lists ASAP at:
http://www.spb.ca.gov/jobs/vpos/index.htm
http://www.sacbee.com
http://www.csus.edu/webpages/employment.stm
(There are more. I’ll post them as I think of them.)
Go to job fairs. You never know what might lead to something. Plus, once again, it gives you a reason to get up in the morning when you feel like sleeping in, eating ice cream and watching Seinfeld re-runs instead.
When I was out of work, Kinko’s had a special where they let you print 25 copies (per location! On nice-ass paper!) of your résumé. I hit up three locations on my bike and got a total of 75 copies of my three-page résumé on fancy granite-gray paper. Watch the business news – CNN.com or Yahoo business – for these kinds of jobseeker opportunities.
Keep a spreadsheet (or a binder, if you’re old school) of jobs that you’ve applied to, contacts at each location, dates to follow up, etc. That way you can keep track of who to call when. Also (obviously) ask all your ex-bosses, favorite co-workers and professors for letters of recommendation. I included an average of five letters of recommendation with my application each time I applied to a job. It can’t hurt. Keep copies of cover letters in the computer so you don’t have to re-invent the wheel every time a job opportunity arises. Be sure to let your references know when someone will probably be calling them.
Have a weekly routine. I used to apply for all the jobs listed in the Sunday Sacramento Bee and the California Job Journal on Mondays; local government jobs on Tuesday; private sector on Wednesdays; and state jobs on Thursdays. I saved Fridays for researching and contacting non-profits I was interested in working for, so that let me have something to look forward to on Friday, even though I wasn't working.
Pound the pavement! It can’t hurt to do walk-in inquiries and résumé drop-offs; besides (again) it gets you out of the house, and you'll probably learn about businesses/organizations you didn't know about walking around.
Also, register with temp agencies. I had an awesome account executive at Apple One who was always keeping her eyes peeled for me, and got me a temp job and a bunch of interviews.
Unemployment benefits have been extended, so at least there’s that. If you’re lucky, it’ll be enough to pay your bills and still have money left to eat and buy gas.
Get on www.linkedin.com. It’s a great network. And use your resources – which basically means anyone you know. Make a business card and have a brief description of what you do. I got free business cards at http://www.dcp-print.com. There are also a couple of other free websites. Google “free business cards”. Remember to include the information you want to share with everyone.
If there's a cause you care about, volunteer there for awhile. It can't hurt to have something - be it unpaid - on your resume for the time you were out of work.
Job searching is like a full-time job, but remember that it’s just that – something to occupy a decent amount of your time, but not to obsess over. Take time to exercise, go for a walk, cook good food for yourself, and watch movies. Don’t feel too bad at the end of each day if you haven’t found something yet. It’s tough out there.
Finally, good luck!! Go kick butt, and be yourself. You are resourceful, amazing, smart, and capable. (Duh. Why do you think your other employer hired you in the first place?)
I know many of you are looking for work right now. Below are some tips I wrote up for a friend who was out of work. I was just recently out of work for six months - so I know how it feels. I hope it's helpful!
Best of luck to all of you.
Love, H
It sucks losing your job. (Mostly. Take cheap road trips, relax and volunteer when you can.) But being laid off or fired is a loss, just like any other. Allow yourself a little process of grieving - you may feel pained, shocked, angry, confused, guilty, whatever. Let yourself feel those feelings when you need to, and then move on.
Having just been through this, I thought I’d put together a list of tips and ideas for job searching.
First off, if you can get it, get Martin Yates' Knock 'Em Dead books - I used the Interviews one to study, and I rocked my interviews!
Try not to sleep in in the mornings. Have a routine, or a reason to wake up. I took my mom (she lives two blocks from me) to work every day, and that kept me from sleeping in and waking up at 11:00 am feeling crummy.
Register with as many websites as you can.
Register with both those sites specific to your profession, and general, as you can to keep your options open. Here are some I was on/checked every day:
http://www.idealist.org
If you live in California, take state tests and get on lists ASAP at:
http://www.spb.ca.gov/jobs/vpos/index.htm
http://www.sacbee.com
http://www.csus.edu/webpages/employment.stm
(There are more. I’ll post them as I think of them.)
Go to job fairs. You never know what might lead to something. Plus, once again, it gives you a reason to get up in the morning when you feel like sleeping in, eating ice cream and watching Seinfeld re-runs instead.
When I was out of work, Kinko’s had a special where they let you print 25 copies (per location! On nice-ass paper!) of your résumé. I hit up three locations on my bike and got a total of 75 copies of my three-page résumé on fancy granite-gray paper. Watch the business news – CNN.com or Yahoo business – for these kinds of jobseeker opportunities.
Keep a spreadsheet (or a binder, if you’re old school) of jobs that you’ve applied to, contacts at each location, dates to follow up, etc. That way you can keep track of who to call when. Also (obviously) ask all your ex-bosses, favorite co-workers and professors for letters of recommendation. I included an average of five letters of recommendation with my application each time I applied to a job. It can’t hurt. Keep copies of cover letters in the computer so you don’t have to re-invent the wheel every time a job opportunity arises. Be sure to let your references know when someone will probably be calling them.
Have a weekly routine. I used to apply for all the jobs listed in the Sunday Sacramento Bee and the California Job Journal on Mondays; local government jobs on Tuesday; private sector on Wednesdays; and state jobs on Thursdays. I saved Fridays for researching and contacting non-profits I was interested in working for, so that let me have something to look forward to on Friday, even though I wasn't working.
Pound the pavement! It can’t hurt to do walk-in inquiries and résumé drop-offs; besides (again) it gets you out of the house, and you'll probably learn about businesses/organizations you didn't know about walking around.
Also, register with temp agencies. I had an awesome account executive at Apple One who was always keeping her eyes peeled for me, and got me a temp job and a bunch of interviews.
Unemployment benefits have been extended, so at least there’s that. If you’re lucky, it’ll be enough to pay your bills and still have money left to eat and buy gas.
Get on www.linkedin.com. It’s a great network. And use your resources – which basically means anyone you know. Make a business card and have a brief description of what you do. I got free business cards at http://www.dcp-print.com. There are also a couple of other free websites. Google “free business cards”. Remember to include the information you want to share with everyone.
If there's a cause you care about, volunteer there for awhile. It can't hurt to have something - be it unpaid - on your resume for the time you were out of work.
Job searching is like a full-time job, but remember that it’s just that – something to occupy a decent amount of your time, but not to obsess over. Take time to exercise, go for a walk, cook good food for yourself, and watch movies. Don’t feel too bad at the end of each day if you haven’t found something yet. It’s tough out there.
Finally, good luck!! Go kick butt, and be yourself. You are resourceful, amazing, smart, and capable. (Duh. Why do you think your other employer hired you in the first place?)
Thursday, May 28, 2009
California Supreme Court Upholds Prop 8
Discrimination Against Gays and Mormon-Bashing Equally Distasteful
West Steps
It was a hot Sacramento day in the late spring of 2009, when the California state Supreme Court voted 6-1 to uphold a the discriminatory Proposition 8, voted into law in 2008, invalidating same-sex marriages. But the demonstrators gathered on the Capitol building’s west steps seemed less drained than energized by the heat – as if our skin were made of photovoltaic cells.
The large crowd marched from the Gay and Lesbian center on L Streets with signs reading “ImaginEquality,” “Second Class Citizen,” “Trash 8,” and “‘I Do’ Support the Freedom to Marry.’” We shouted, chanted, sang, cheered, and showed our solidarity. We were addressed by the flamboyant and hilarious State Assembly member Tom Ammiano, couples married after the 2008 Supreme Court decision gave them that right, reverends, and organizers.
Sweat dripped into our eyes, and a thin woman wrapped in a rainbow flag grinned. Couples held hands.
Across the street, a small group – noticeably reduced in size since the rallies following the election – held pro-Prop 8 signs and chanted, “Celebrate Prop 8!”
I didn’t see much to celebrate. We were there because we were incensed by the court ruling… Nonetheless, we also gathered in a spirit of solidarity, love, and levity.
A temporary setback is what yesterday was.
“The arc of history is long,” a speaker quoted Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., “but it bends toward justice.”
Quit Mormon-Bashing, Friends.
I realize there are many issues surrounding Proposition 8, ranging from our electoral system and constitution to the debate surrounding the institution of marriage itself… but the one in particular I want to address is this recent bout of Mormon bashing.
I don’t like it.
First and foremost, why make hypocrites of ourselves by stooping to the level of those whose points we disagree with by using their tools - i.e. thoughtless vitriol, broad-brush painting, and bigotry? These are the very acts we disparage.
Now, I’m not saying we shouldn’t boycott select businesses that supported Prop 8. I’m not saying we shouldn’t strongly voice our values and perspectives. But I am saying we don’t need to be jerks about it.
My second point is: it's not just the Mormons, folks. Plenty of other groups and individuals voted for Prop 8. And perhaps in that way, we supporters of same-sex marriage, religious and non-religious alike, should take a long, hard look at our approach. How can we better work with religious and other communities to show them our perspective?
Among the fallacies passed off as truth by pro-Prop 8 advertisements during the campaign season was the idea that schools would be forced to teach same-sex marriage to students. The fear played upon was that same-sex couples would be “forcing their lifestyle” upon the general population. Interestingly enough, most same-sex couples would argue that not allowing them to marry is, in effect, discriminating against them by forcing a mainstream idea – a straight lifestyle – upon them. This is a perfect instance in which simple grassroots efforts can be effective. Both debunking the forcible teaching of same-sex marriage myth and talking to your neighbors about basic rights is a simple way to plant seeds of new ideas.
Finally, I want to state that alienating ourselves from other people is never the way to build a revolution, win an election, gain friends, or influence people. Dr. King spoke of using “an all-embracing and unconditional love for all mankind” as a tool to find common ground among all people:
Pretty much every group of people has been discriminated against at one point or another – including Mormons themselves, who were historically persecuted for their religious beliefs and practices… including their marriages! Maybe at this point you’re thinking, “then they are being hypocrites!” Possibly. But instead of being pompous about it, let those of us who hold the banner of love, justice and equality, not also succumb to the base emotion of hatred or the shameful tendency to “other” those we disagree with. Instead, let us use the tools of love to find common humanity and open a dialog with anyone who might initially disagree with you with regard to Prop 8.
I know it’s cliché, but some of my best, dearest friends are Mormon, or disagree with me for some other reason about Prop 8. It is my sincere hope that they will someday see that love is love in any form, and that my hypothetical marriage to a woman would be just as valid as my hypothetical marriage to a man. But they are much more likely to see my point of view if I present it with love instead of with anger.
West Steps
It was a hot Sacramento day in the late spring of 2009, when the California state Supreme Court voted 6-1 to uphold a the discriminatory Proposition 8, voted into law in 2008, invalidating same-sex marriages. But the demonstrators gathered on the Capitol building’s west steps seemed less drained than energized by the heat – as if our skin were made of photovoltaic cells.
The large crowd marched from the Gay and Lesbian center on L Streets with signs reading “ImaginEquality,” “Second Class Citizen,” “Trash 8,” and “‘I Do’ Support the Freedom to Marry.’” We shouted, chanted, sang, cheered, and showed our solidarity. We were addressed by the flamboyant and hilarious State Assembly member Tom Ammiano, couples married after the 2008 Supreme Court decision gave them that right, reverends, and organizers.
Sweat dripped into our eyes, and a thin woman wrapped in a rainbow flag grinned. Couples held hands.
Across the street, a small group – noticeably reduced in size since the rallies following the election – held pro-Prop 8 signs and chanted, “Celebrate Prop 8!”
I didn’t see much to celebrate. We were there because we were incensed by the court ruling… Nonetheless, we also gathered in a spirit of solidarity, love, and levity.
A temporary setback is what yesterday was.
“The arc of history is long,” a speaker quoted Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., “but it bends toward justice.”
Quit Mormon-Bashing, Friends.
I realize there are many issues surrounding Proposition 8, ranging from our electoral system and constitution to the debate surrounding the institution of marriage itself… but the one in particular I want to address is this recent bout of Mormon bashing.
I don’t like it.
First and foremost, why make hypocrites of ourselves by stooping to the level of those whose points we disagree with by using their tools - i.e. thoughtless vitriol, broad-brush painting, and bigotry? These are the very acts we disparage.
Now, I’m not saying we shouldn’t boycott select businesses that supported Prop 8. I’m not saying we shouldn’t strongly voice our values and perspectives. But I am saying we don’t need to be jerks about it.
My second point is: it's not just the Mormons, folks. Plenty of other groups and individuals voted for Prop 8. And perhaps in that way, we supporters of same-sex marriage, religious and non-religious alike, should take a long, hard look at our approach. How can we better work with religious and other communities to show them our perspective?
Among the fallacies passed off as truth by pro-Prop 8 advertisements during the campaign season was the idea that schools would be forced to teach same-sex marriage to students. The fear played upon was that same-sex couples would be “forcing their lifestyle” upon the general population. Interestingly enough, most same-sex couples would argue that not allowing them to marry is, in effect, discriminating against them by forcing a mainstream idea – a straight lifestyle – upon them. This is a perfect instance in which simple grassroots efforts can be effective. Both debunking the forcible teaching of same-sex marriage myth and talking to your neighbors about basic rights is a simple way to plant seeds of new ideas.
Finally, I want to state that alienating ourselves from other people is never the way to build a revolution, win an election, gain friends, or influence people. Dr. King spoke of using “an all-embracing and unconditional love for all mankind” as a tool to find common ground among all people:
“This oft-misunderstood concept, so readily dismissed by the Nietzsches of the world as a weak and cowardly force, has now become an absolute necessity for the survival of man. When I speak of love, I am not speaking of some sentimental and weak response. I am not speaking of that force which is just emotional bosh. I am speaking of that force which all of the great religions [and read: peaceful revolutions] have seen as the supreme unifying principle of life. Love is somehow the key that unlocks the door which leads to ultimate reality.”
Pretty much every group of people has been discriminated against at one point or another – including Mormons themselves, who were historically persecuted for their religious beliefs and practices… including their marriages! Maybe at this point you’re thinking, “then they are being hypocrites!” Possibly. But instead of being pompous about it, let those of us who hold the banner of love, justice and equality, not also succumb to the base emotion of hatred or the shameful tendency to “other” those we disagree with. Instead, let us use the tools of love to find common humanity and open a dialog with anyone who might initially disagree with you with regard to Prop 8.
I know it’s cliché, but some of my best, dearest friends are Mormon, or disagree with me for some other reason about Prop 8. It is my sincere hope that they will someday see that love is love in any form, and that my hypothetical marriage to a woman would be just as valid as my hypothetical marriage to a man. But they are much more likely to see my point of view if I present it with love instead of with anger.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
On Loneliness
I was reading the latest issue* of The Sun Magazine this evening, when I came across these two entries in Sy Safransky's Notebook:
Reading this reminded me of the following bit from my friend Trevor's travel blog Where the Hell Is My Towel?:
I was also reminded of this piece from Natalie Goldberg's book for writers called Writing Down the Bones:
Goldberg goes on to discuss how writers can use loneliness as a tool for expression. "Reach out of the deep chasm of loneliness and express yourself to another human being," she writes.
To be sure, loneliness is a nearly universal human emotion - at least in our culture. Isn't this fact one of life's greatest ironies?
But perhaps that is not so unexpected. After all, it's well-established by social scientists that the intimacy provided by companionship and relationships is a significant human need. But our own life experience will tell us that, won't it?
Loneliness compels us to seek further and greater companionship -- or to flip that around, loneliness is merely a symptom of the (hopefully temporary) inability to connect with other humans in an intimate way. Since humans are such an interconnected and interdependent species, perhaps loneliness itself plays a fundamental role in our survival. So ponder that next time you're feeling sorry for yourself and listening to your entire collection of The Cure records on a rainy day. ;)
Any sociologists, psychologists, biologists, or other scientists out there - or anyone else for that matter - want to share your ideas on the function and role of loneliness?
Any artists want to share how you use loneliness as inspiration for your work?
What do you do to overcome loneliness? How do you use it to your advantage?
*As of today, May 20, the May issue is still posted online so you won't find this entry from the June issue.
If only I knew what my cats are thinking. If only I knew what the birds are singing. If only I knew why people who speak the same language rarely understand each other.* * *How alone I feel this morning, as alone as the earth in photographs taken from space. But am I alone? Really? Here on this planet with 6 billion brothers and sisters? Our superficial differences keep me from recognizing how much we have in common -- starting with the undeniable fact that we're all alive and breathing the same air. Breathing in. Breathing out. Hearts expanding with love and hearts contracting with fear. Is there anything I'm experiencing right now that hasn't also been experienced by innumerable others -- even my loneliness, my sadness, my longing for something I can't name?
Reading this reminded me of the following bit from my friend Trevor's travel blog Where the Hell Is My Towel?:
There is no night culture here. I miss that sense of camaraderie I used to feel whenever I'd be out driving at four in the morning in the rain and I'd pass some other lonely pair of headlights going the opposite direction. It was the strongest sense of understanding I've ever felt. There is nothing like that here...
I was also reminded of this piece from Natalie Goldberg's book for writers called Writing Down the Bones:
Last night I was sitting with a very old friend in my living room. "You know, Natalie, I know you've talked about being lonely, but last week when I was really lonely, I felt that I was the only person in the world who ever felt it." That's what loneliness is about. If we felt connected to people, even other lonely people, we wouldn't feel alone anymore.
When I was separated from my husband, [my mentor] Katagiri Roshi said to me, "You should live alone. You should learn about that. It is the terminal abode."
"Roshi, will I get used to loneliness?"
"No, you don't get used to it. I take a cold shower every morning and every morning it shocks me, but I continue to stand up in the shower. Loneliness always has a bite, but learn to stand up in it and not be tossed away."
Later that year I went to Roshi again: "It's really hard. I come home and I'm alone and I get panicky." He asked me what I did when I was alone. Suddenly, it had a fascination. "Well, I wash the dishes, I daydream and doodle on pieces of paper, draw hearts and color them in. I pick the dead leaves off the plants and I listen to music a lot." I began to study my own desolation and I became interested in it. I stopped fighting it.
Goldberg goes on to discuss how writers can use loneliness as a tool for expression. "Reach out of the deep chasm of loneliness and express yourself to another human being," she writes.
To be sure, loneliness is a nearly universal human emotion - at least in our culture. Isn't this fact one of life's greatest ironies?
But perhaps that is not so unexpected. After all, it's well-established by social scientists that the intimacy provided by companionship and relationships is a significant human need. But our own life experience will tell us that, won't it?
Loneliness compels us to seek further and greater companionship -- or to flip that around, loneliness is merely a symptom of the (hopefully temporary) inability to connect with other humans in an intimate way. Since humans are such an interconnected and interdependent species, perhaps loneliness itself plays a fundamental role in our survival. So ponder that next time you're feeling sorry for yourself and listening to your entire collection of The Cure records on a rainy day. ;)
Any sociologists, psychologists, biologists, or other scientists out there - or anyone else for that matter - want to share your ideas on the function and role of loneliness?
Any artists want to share how you use loneliness as inspiration for your work?
What do you do to overcome loneliness? How do you use it to your advantage?
*As of today, May 20, the May issue is still posted online so you won't find this entry from the June issue.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Palestine
Palestine
Tonight my neighbor A asked me "do you have a position on Palestine/Israel?"
It was such a great question. I'm glad she asked! It gave me a chance to think about and articulate my perspective. It's not a subject I spend a lot of time talking/thinking about. Maybe I should...
Sacramento Area Peace Action is actually putting on a speaker series on Palestine. Next Tuesday the 19th is the next to last event. (More about that below.)
My answer to A is as follows:
So I am not pro-Israel or pro-Palestine, per se. I'm pro-peace... meaning I'm an advocate of finding a solution that creates social justice and quells violence for both sides. And no matter what, I believe that the US has no business funding a violent, inhumane, and illegal occupation.
To tell the truth, the more I learn about Israel/Palestine, the more I realize how much I have to learn. My general position is that it's NOT okay the way Israel (through the massive support of the US) treats the Palestinians. Regardless of the history of the region and picking sides and all that, the fact remains that Israel's occupation is illegal according to international law. It's also inhumane and against international conventions to do what Israel did by blockading Gaza earlier this year and not allowing humanitarian aid and basic supplies in. Palestinians don't have the same rights as Israelis. Palestinians routinely have their crops, their homes, their businesses destroyed by Israeli tanks and machines. They have to go through checkpoints all the time, as if they're criminals or foreigners. I heard a personal story of someone who was with a woman who could not get through the border even though she was in labor, and had to be driven hours out of the way to receive medical care. These kinds of things happen all the time.
That said, I'm not really well-versed even in modern Israel/Palestine history, let alone the thousands of years of history surrounding the different groups in the region. To be totally cliche, some of my best friends are Jewish, and are supporters of the state of Israel. I have no opinion on what kind of political structure should be in place... I just know that the Palestinians should not be being treated the way they are. Also, I know that the violence keeps festering because it is perpetuated by both sides. Neither side is right in resorting to violence, regardless of whether one uses tanks and the other uses car bombs.
In my non-professional opinion, the most destructive thing that causes breakdown in the dialog about Israel & Palestine is the flawed and overly-simplistic framing of the issue in the US media. Generally Palestinians are portrayed as anti-Semitic terrorists, whereas Israelis are innocent freedom fighters defending their homeland. There are so many fallacies in that. To begin with, an act is only called terrorism when it's a non-governmental group perpetrating it. Also, Israel is not exclusively Jewish; neither is Palestine exclusively Arab nor Muslim (some people don't even understand the difference between Arab and Muslim). And finally, Jerusalem and the entire country of Israel - is the historic homeland of BOTH groups.
Here's info about the Sacramento Area Peace Action event:
Tuesday, May 19, 7pm, Palestine Speaker Series: Current Realities/One State presented by Dr. Jess Ghanam, clinical professor of psychiatry and chief of medical psychology at UC San Francisco. Dr. Ghanam is on the board of the Gaza Community Mental Health Program and on the national board of Al-Awda the Palestine Right of Return Coalition. 909 12th St, Sac. Info: 916-448-7157, sacpeace@dcn.org; http://sacpeace.org/.
Tonight my neighbor A asked me "do you have a position on Palestine/Israel?"
It was such a great question. I'm glad she asked! It gave me a chance to think about and articulate my perspective. It's not a subject I spend a lot of time talking/thinking about. Maybe I should...
Sacramento Area Peace Action is actually putting on a speaker series on Palestine. Next Tuesday the 19th is the next to last event. (More about that below.)
My answer to A is as follows:
So I am not pro-Israel or pro-Palestine, per se. I'm pro-peace... meaning I'm an advocate of finding a solution that creates social justice and quells violence for both sides. And no matter what, I believe that the US has no business funding a violent, inhumane, and illegal occupation.
To tell the truth, the more I learn about Israel/Palestine, the more I realize how much I have to learn. My general position is that it's NOT okay the way Israel (through the massive support of the US) treats the Palestinians. Regardless of the history of the region and picking sides and all that, the fact remains that Israel's occupation is illegal according to international law. It's also inhumane and against international conventions to do what Israel did by blockading Gaza earlier this year and not allowing humanitarian aid and basic supplies in. Palestinians don't have the same rights as Israelis. Palestinians routinely have their crops, their homes, their businesses destroyed by Israeli tanks and machines. They have to go through checkpoints all the time, as if they're criminals or foreigners. I heard a personal story of someone who was with a woman who could not get through the border even though she was in labor, and had to be driven hours out of the way to receive medical care. These kinds of things happen all the time.
That said, I'm not really well-versed even in modern Israel/Palestine history, let alone the thousands of years of history surrounding the different groups in the region. To be totally cliche, some of my best friends are Jewish, and are supporters of the state of Israel. I have no opinion on what kind of political structure should be in place... I just know that the Palestinians should not be being treated the way they are. Also, I know that the violence keeps festering because it is perpetuated by both sides. Neither side is right in resorting to violence, regardless of whether one uses tanks and the other uses car bombs.
In my non-professional opinion, the most destructive thing that causes breakdown in the dialog about Israel & Palestine is the flawed and overly-simplistic framing of the issue in the US media. Generally Palestinians are portrayed as anti-Semitic terrorists, whereas Israelis are innocent freedom fighters defending their homeland. There are so many fallacies in that. To begin with, an act is only called terrorism when it's a non-governmental group perpetrating it. Also, Israel is not exclusively Jewish; neither is Palestine exclusively Arab nor Muslim (some people don't even understand the difference between Arab and Muslim). And finally, Jerusalem and the entire country of Israel - is the historic homeland of BOTH groups.
Here's info about the Sacramento Area Peace Action event:
Tuesday, May 19, 7pm, Palestine Speaker Series: Current Realities/One State presented by Dr. Jess Ghanam, clinical professor of psychiatry and chief of medical psychology at UC San Francisco. Dr. Ghanam is on the board of the Gaza Community Mental Health Program and on the national board of Al-Awda the Palestine Right of Return Coalition. 909 12th St, Sac. Info: 916-448-7157, sacpeace@dcn.org; http://sacpeace.org/.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Bicycle Commute Month
May is Sacramento Region Bike Commute Month!
I registered and pledged to ride a certain number of miles on bikecommutemonth.com. I've been logging my miles there. I ride to work every day because, well, I live so close, and it's much easier than dealing with parking! Also I love to get the exercise, and enjoy the fresh air.
Last Friday, it rained in the afternoon. Riding the 14 blocks home, I saw only two other cyclists - one woman and one man. That makes for a ratio of one man two two women in Sacramento who are hardcore and perseverent enough to ride even when it's raining. (Among my statistically representative sample, you understand).
Yesterday and the day before, rain was forecasted but none actually appeared... save for a thin film of wetness on the streets when I woke up yesterday. It was pretty warm and muggy both Monday and Tuesday. Monday was especially cloudy, and I really thought it would rain, but it never did.
I got my state tax refund this week. I hopped over to City Bicycle Works right after work, under the BEAUTIFUL blue sky and puffy clouds. I picked up a kickstand; a rack for hauling stuff on the back of my bike (forgot what it's called); a new "I ♥ My Bike" bell (DING DING DING!!); and a new side mirror, since I cracked the other one running into a tree last summer. Oops. I cruised over to the Bicycle Kitchen, where I installed my goodies. My bike is totally tricked out now. Hee hee...
On the way home, I got bell-happy and ding-a-linged down P, R, 10th, and other streets. A man in front of the Fox and Goose called out, "Mmm-mmm! Good Humor bars!", and some other cyclists dinged their bells in response from half a block away. I heart my "I ♥ My Bike" bell almost as much as I heart my bike.
Workin'
So, I suppose y'all want to know how I'm enjoying my job?
My first day, I walked in to "Welcome to BWARD (my Division) Heather Woodford" signs, and a pink vase of red tulips at my desk! Everyone keeps telling me how glad they are to have me there. The Division was super understaffed before, and my position was vacant for four months before I started working there, so I can only imagine they're relieved... and not just because my reputation as an amazing person and awesome worker has preceded me. Hee hee...
Well, they're keeping me busy, to be sure. I am the only Executive Secretary in my Division, so there's no one to sit with me and train me, really. I have to be super resourceful and ask lots of questions of the Exec Secs in other Divisions and the Department office. The Division Chief (my bigger boss) has been out ever since my first day, and so the poor Assistant Division Chief has been super stressed. There's been lots of trial by fire for me. I guess I should take it as a compliment that they just throw me in and trust me to figure things out. I have been asking lots of questions... of everyone. :) My co-workers are all super nice and helpful, and avail themselves to me whenever I need them.
I work just across the street from the Capitol Rose Garden, and I LOVE to stroll around the grounds during my breaks (when I remember to take them - SUPER BUSY!) and at lunch. It's amazing the way each variety of rose has its own scent and color. On Monday, the groundskeeper showed me to his favorite bush.
"Isn't that unique?" he asked, showing me to a beautiful hybrid. "It's like nothing you've ever smelled!" He was right - it has a light, clean sort of jasmine-y smell.
Today, I was super pleased to see a man in a suit witha small a briefcase taking time to - well, you know! "Gotta make time for that," I called to him from another bush. "You sure do!"
Cafe Rolle
On Friday evening, L&B and I had dinner with K&J at Cafe Rolle on H Street in East Sacramento. Absolutely exquisite. We sampled everything from salads and appetizers to lentils and sandwiches. The wine was amazing - a crisp, light white and two warm, round reds. We topped everything off with two creme brulees, including their special, the chocolate toffee brulee! Apparently, they will be featured soon on the Food Network. L&B wrote down the date, so we'll be watching for it that night, and I'll try to remember to post a link here.
On Friday night after riding home from work in the rain, I busted out my new pair of Havaianas because I couldn't find my other ones. I started laughing when I realized what I was doing, and had to tell B when I saw her, "You know you're from California when you bust out a new pair of Havaianas because you can't find your 0ther pair, and you don't want to wear any of your other five pairs of flip-flops... and it's RAINING!"
I registered and pledged to ride a certain number of miles on bikecommutemonth.com. I've been logging my miles there. I ride to work every day because, well, I live so close, and it's much easier than dealing with parking! Also I love to get the exercise, and enjoy the fresh air.
Last Friday, it rained in the afternoon. Riding the 14 blocks home, I saw only two other cyclists - one woman and one man. That makes for a ratio of one man two two women in Sacramento who are hardcore and perseverent enough to ride even when it's raining. (Among my statistically representative sample, you understand).
Yesterday and the day before, rain was forecasted but none actually appeared... save for a thin film of wetness on the streets when I woke up yesterday. It was pretty warm and muggy both Monday and Tuesday. Monday was especially cloudy, and I really thought it would rain, but it never did.
I got my state tax refund this week. I hopped over to City Bicycle Works right after work, under the BEAUTIFUL blue sky and puffy clouds. I picked up a kickstand; a rack for hauling stuff on the back of my bike (forgot what it's called); a new "I ♥ My Bike" bell (DING DING DING!!); and a new side mirror, since I cracked the other one running into a tree last summer. Oops. I cruised over to the Bicycle Kitchen, where I installed my goodies. My bike is totally tricked out now. Hee hee...
On the way home, I got bell-happy and ding-a-linged down P, R, 10th, and other streets. A man in front of the Fox and Goose called out, "Mmm-mmm! Good Humor bars!", and some other cyclists dinged their bells in response from half a block away. I heart my "I ♥ My Bike" bell almost as much as I heart my bike.
Workin'
So, I suppose y'all want to know how I'm enjoying my job?
My first day, I walked in to "Welcome to BWARD (my Division) Heather Woodford" signs, and a pink vase of red tulips at my desk! Everyone keeps telling me how glad they are to have me there. The Division was super understaffed before, and my position was vacant for four months before I started working there, so I can only imagine they're relieved... and not just because my reputation as an amazing person and awesome worker has preceded me. Hee hee...
Well, they're keeping me busy, to be sure. I am the only Executive Secretary in my Division, so there's no one to sit with me and train me, really. I have to be super resourceful and ask lots of questions of the Exec Secs in other Divisions and the Department office. The Division Chief (my bigger boss) has been out ever since my first day, and so the poor Assistant Division Chief has been super stressed. There's been lots of trial by fire for me. I guess I should take it as a compliment that they just throw me in and trust me to figure things out. I have been asking lots of questions... of everyone. :) My co-workers are all super nice and helpful, and avail themselves to me whenever I need them.
I work just across the street from the Capitol Rose Garden, and I LOVE to stroll around the grounds during my breaks (when I remember to take them - SUPER BUSY!) and at lunch. It's amazing the way each variety of rose has its own scent and color. On Monday, the groundskeeper showed me to his favorite bush.
"Isn't that unique?" he asked, showing me to a beautiful hybrid. "It's like nothing you've ever smelled!" He was right - it has a light, clean sort of jasmine-y smell.
Today, I was super pleased to see a man in a suit witha small a briefcase taking time to - well, you know! "Gotta make time for that," I called to him from another bush. "You sure do!"
Cafe Rolle
On Friday evening, L&B and I had dinner with K&J at Cafe Rolle on H Street in East Sacramento. Absolutely exquisite. We sampled everything from salads and appetizers to lentils and sandwiches. The wine was amazing - a crisp, light white and two warm, round reds. We topped everything off with two creme brulees, including their special, the chocolate toffee brulee! Apparently, they will be featured soon on the Food Network. L&B wrote down the date, so we'll be watching for it that night, and I'll try to remember to post a link here.
On Friday night after riding home from work in the rain, I busted out my new pair of Havaianas because I couldn't find my other ones. I started laughing when I realized what I was doing, and had to tell B when I saw her, "You know you're from California when you bust out a new pair of Havaianas because you can't find your 0ther pair, and you don't want to wear any of your other five pairs of flip-flops... and it's RAINING!"
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